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The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. ~ G. K. Chesterton
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. ~ Mark Twain
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. ~ Robert Orben
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. ~ Mahatma Ghandi
The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. ~ Mark Twain
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. ~ Dante Rossetti
On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. ~ Curtis McDougall
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. ~ Napoleon
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam. ~ George Carlin
A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday. ~ Thomas Ybarra
Maybe this world is another planet’s hell. ~ Aldous Huxley
No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says. He is always convinced that it says what he means. ~ George Bernard Shaw
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. ~ Ronald Reagan
The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. ~ G. K. Chesterton
People who want to share their religious views with you, almost never want you to share yours with them. ~ Dave Barry
Christianity is the strangest religion ever set up, for it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind from the sin of eating an apple. ~ Thomas Paine
It is time the Arabs and the Jews sat down and settled this dispute in the true Christian spirit. ~ Senator Warren Austin
The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around. ~ Herb Caen
If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said “No”. ~ Stevie Smith